Breast Friends Forever

I recently saw one of my best single girlfriends (shocker!) and of course, Sophie was in tow. Magically, she sat quietly and played with her toys while I lived vicariously through my friend’s exciting, unpredictable life. (She goes on vacation! She goes to restaurants! She gets dressed and leaves her apartment with nothing but a…

9 Months In, 9 Months Out

Dear Sophie, Today, you are nine months old. Today, you sit, playing independently with your toys, screaming “Mama” anytime anyone comes within two feet of you. You have eight teeth, blondish hair, gray eyes and a world of personality. You can sit, stand, crawl and take sideways steps holding onto various pieces of furniture. You’ve…

The Quiet Child

Right now, Sophie is sleeping. She has been sleeping soundly for almost three hours – a rarity these days. As I obsessively peek in on her, watching the swift rise and fall of her chest, I contemplate lying with her. They always say you should nap when your baby naps, and yet, the cruel irony…

My Post-Pregnant Life

The house is quiet. The washing machine whirs, the soap nuts safely tucked in their pouch as they clean Sophie’s clothes. She hiccups in her little chair, having been fed and changed. She yawns, a bit of milk residue clinging to her tongue. Neruda chews on a buffalo tendon. The heat sizzles outside. I press…

Life with a Baby

Day 1 – May 30, 2012 3:51a.m. I look at you, this minute being who has been powerfully fighting inside me to come out for 52 hours. My contacts are dry. I haven’t eaten in what feels like years. I am in desperate need of a shower. The area between my legs has been through…

A 52 Hour Labor of Love: My Epic Delivery

Wednesday, May 30, 2012 3:51a.m. I look in the mirror set in front of me. My face is crimson. I’ve been pushing for two hours. Somehow, after much protest, I’ve ended up flat on my back, with my knees in the air. I’ve been going at this for exactly 52 hours. I can see her…

Sweet 16… Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

16 days until departure… After almost 38 weeks of waiting, gesticulating, worrying, living, being and pondering what this transition will be like, I have learned ample things about myself (some good, some bad), found some invaluable new friends, a plethora of opinions (some slightly unwanted) and a newfound belief in my ability to birth and…

Mind Over Labor

On my nightstand, I have a thick stack of books, mostly in the realm of birth books. Though I haven’t gotten through all of them, I have garnered many useful tips/tricks for the big day and after. One of my favorites, Mind Over Labor, by Carl Jones, provides helpful tips and imagery for having a…

Hard Truths at 35 Weeks

Today, I am 35 weeks pregnant… give or take a week, according to the doctor’s calculations (I should be further along) and mine (I am right where I should be). As this pregnancy winds down, and I buckle a bit beneath the new impending shifts and weight and minor hassles of a rapidly expanding baby,…

Ghost Town: Population Me

Easter Sunday. Outside, the sky is bright. The birds chirp. The wind blows. And yet everyone seems to have gone missing. To the gym and back, to brunch, a walk in a new park, where Alex dove to pick up golf balls that had been hit too far out of the driving range. Deep, expanding…